Building Innovative Business Cultures

There’s a little more to visualization to manifest your dreams.

2008-12-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

It has been tested time after time to work better than not visualizing about your goals. In the past many experiments with athletes of equal ability found that their visualizing group – the group that practiced visualizing about achieving their goals - did substantially better than the group that didn’t. The original research was based on brain research that states our brains don’t know the difference between what’s actually is taking place and a dream.

Visualization programs will tell you to look into your mind’s eye and make a picture of what you want. The part that they are missing is two fold: 1.) The clarity of the picture needs to be in pictures, feelings, smells, tastes, and sounds and you want to have as many of these as possible. 2.) You need to be looking in the correct direction to have your brain properly assimilate the information. You need to look to a spot upwards and to the right. This is your brain’s place to access future events.

Sometimes step 2 won’t help because often our brains keep painful images from our past in that area to “keep and eye” on them and it will impede what we’re trying to accomplish.

Just a side note: This is when you might think about coming to my seminar on Monday on timers. Or contact me so we can do some work on moving around that barrier.

Words, words, words.

2008-12-09T10:24:00.001-08:00

Did you know that your words, the words you use specifically, are words that have connection, emotion and meaning in your brain. If someone uses your words in front of you, you will feel more comfortable in their presence than a person who uses words that are a paraphrase of your vocabulary. In the 80’s and 90’s there were active listening courses that had people repeat back others ideas to them using paraphrased words and we now know this is a miss match an actually brings up people’s defenses because it appears we don’t relate if you don’t use the words that match our brain patterning.

If you are marketing to a particular group, you want to know what are the words are to access that group. For example, you are going to get an entirely different group if you market to “body workers” versus “holistic practitioners.” Similarly, individuals will buy an entirely different brand of toilet a paper based on the marketing words used for marketing that toilet paper.

Announcing FREE Seminar series and NETWORKING EVENT in San Francisco!

2008-11-17T09:24:00.000-08:00

Please join us for our FREE mini-seminar series and networking session in San Francisco.

Where: Patima Organic Coffee
2314 Clement Street (at 24th Avenue)
San Francisco
When: 6:30pm-8:30pm Mondays starting
November 24th, 2008

Seminar topics include:

• Brain Communication: Brain communication that will help you get a job or client, and keep a job or client and tell you before the boss or client knows when there is something wrong so you can fix it. (Nov. 24th)
• What STOPS you from having it all? And how to change that. (Dec. 1st)
• Brain Marketing: How to tap the subconscious of people’s desires. (Dec. 8th)
• Innovation: How to find the dream. (Dec. 17th)

More details will be up on the main site (www.ExecutiveSandbox.com) shortly or call 415-497-3979.

The power of your words

2008-11-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

A couple nights ago I finally got a chance to attend my first Ladies Who Launch networking session run by Allie Covarrubias. Being unfamiliar with the electoral process I asked the 2 women I was talking at the end of the event, if they knew what the result of the Proposition 8 vote. One of them said as a result of the vote there would be a change made to the US constitution.

One of the 2 women I was speaking to admitted to voting “Yes” on this ballot issue. I was shocked hearing this from someone who is a woman and lives in San Francisco. She voted for changing the constitution – the agreement in which this great country was founded on! The other woman chatting was equally perplexed at her response and that she even would admit it in this forum we were having.

The woman who voted “Yes” even admitted she understood that whether or not she agreed with same-sex marriage that minority rights means rights for all people no matter how you differentiate yourself and it is imperative for a our democratic society to advance. In a woman’s group how could one of our members be vehemently apposed to same-sex marriage that they would vote to change the constitution?

She admitted to have both gay and lesbian friends but she said the decision was based on the word “marriage” NOT on the act of marriage. To her, “marriage” was sacred word used to describe the union between a man and a woman. In the country she immigrated from, they had legalized same-sex marriages but they used another word to define a same-sex union.

Sometimes an issue is so charged that we can’t even see what we’re fighting about and as a result there could be split between people and our connectedness to each other.

We don’t live in reality. We live in our interpretations of our reality. This means that each of us has our own unique definitions and meaning for the words that create our reality. No two realities are the same. If we don’t take the time to listen and really understand what another is communicating, what their meaning and definition behind their words then we will definitely loose out to misunderstandings that can elevate our disagreements to possibly violent proportions. In this case, because we got wrapped up in our interpretation, because we couldn’t see the real issue we may be permanently scaring a document that founded this great country.

Tracy Slotin
Corporate Culturist
The Executive Sandbox Innovation Consultants

Blowing Spit Bubbles

2008-10-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

When I think about innovation I also think about ideas that move us forward.

So Ideas – where do they come from? In my life and business experiences, ideas come from our subconscious. Frequently an idea will get caught in our consciousness and if it stays long enough it may impact us or get us to act upon the idea.

But how do we know an idea is a worthwhile pursuit?

Have you ever read something that you wanted to drink up? It was so delicious you wanted to let the words drip down and through you like honey dripping down your throat: Slow and warm and all encompassing but sweet and tangy as well.

Rarely do we come across a work that nourishes every part of our being but when we do, we want to dance in its rays. This is inspiration. When we follow it and put our energy behind it, it is called an innovation. And, when we’re in the midst of developing the idea and putting the pieces together it is called being in “flow”.

How do we get there? How do maintain it? When it only comes in short bursts sometimes at the most inconvenient times when we can’t do anything about it. We need to honor those ideas. Write them down. Then give them their time.

Einstein would write his ideas down in a book and then set aside 3 hours a week to go over the ideas he generated. He would plug them into his to do lists if after the 3 hours he though the ideas were worthy of pursuit.

What is actually taking place when we get those ideas is we are letting ourselves get caught up in between our conscious and subconscious selves. We let it happen by taking off the reins of trying to control our mind and allowing them to wonder. In other words, when we allow ourselves to play. The more we allow ourselves to play, the more innovative and ideas oriented we can be. Being plugged into every energy source (TV, computers, cell phones, electronic games etc.) doesn’t allow for the human brain to relax and open that gap between our conscious and subconscious worlds.

William James (1880) believed that being able to get in touch with one’s unconscious ides was a vital part of being creative. Douglas McGregor believed that work was a type of punishment to acquire the things we need for getting fun. It is so ingrained in our society and culture that work must be work so we aren’t having fun. As a result we aren’t innovating and creating like we could be in our lives. Fun tends to be something that kids can only have because they are absolved from the rules. But knowing this is the path for innovation we must learn how to play again in our work and lives.

What are you doing for fun today? I think I’ll go blow some spit bubbles and then I think I’ll go check out the surf.

A new beginning

2008-10-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

If we truly live in place where you can have what ever your dream is, then truly what do you want and what do you have to do to get there? How much longer are you going to let others use your energy in not forwarding you in that dream? Only you can choose.

Once you choose it, that’s when the adventure and fun begins.

Drop Confusing tones and Will Create Clear Communication - Part 5

2007-02-24T17:32:00.000-08:00

Albert Mahrabian found that 37% of our communication transmission is made up of tone. Now there is a little glitch in our genetic code to make this a little more interesting. 37% is a considerable amount of communication to be tied up in tone alone if you happen to be half of the population that doesn’t hear all of the tones. It has been found that on average women hear 5-8 tones in communication whereas men hear 35 tones.

We mostly received examples of tonal errors when we were scolded by our mothers as children for our tone of voice and not quite understanding the reprimand. How many times then did you say ‘sorry’ and have the result of the individual responding you didn’t mean it? As adults we have all used the word “fine” to mean that “later, you are going to pay dearly that I’m not happy” without really knowing if the communication was received.

Now communication is usually slated into to forms – indirect and direct. Women are reportedly to speak indirectly while males are reported to speak directly. What this is trying to account for is historical adaptations in communication that have taken form since the days of Hunters & Gatherers. In the Hunter-Gather days women tended to be the gatherers and men tended to be the hunters. The adaptation was created something like this...

Hunters spent most of their time with groups of other hunters or men going to hunt. Going to the hunt was similar to the ways today’s men currently go fishing or attend or watch a sporting event. They quickly work out a plan of attack, where they are going to go, when they get to the area of the hunt. Once they get to the area of attack they stop talking using words for directives and instruction – straight to the point – so to not scare their prey away. This type of emotionless, less tonal communication is prevalent in business. Male brains adapted the direct type of communication because of their tasks during the course of history (Remember Anne Moir found that 80% of males and 10% of women have focus brains which also supports this theory).

Gatherers spent time with other women, children, and the elders of the tribe. They couldn’t just relay on directive communication because some of the individuals they were dealing with didn’t speak. The Gatherers were responsible for taking care of the community when the Hunters were going out getting the kill. They developed ways of seeing and hearing emotions and developed tone references. As with the Hunters, the Gatherers developed adaptations in their brain to deal with the world they dealt with.

Recent studies of male and female brains reveal that the communication areas for a females to be larger in volume with many more communication centers than their male counterparts.

This brain picture shows the communication centers in the male brain (designated by the blue areas) and the communication centers in the female brain (designated by the red areas).

One of the final frontiers is the human brain. Current research reports that we change our brain with every conversation, every action we partake in. Our brain keeps changing and developing well into our 80’s (current research states 80’s but it could be longer). Just because your biological hand may have dealt you a certain brain style doesn’t mean you can’t change, build, and reconstruct your brain. If you communicate indirectly you can practice communicating directly with a direct speaker. If you are a direct speaker you can work with an indirect speaker to build up your ability to speak indirectly.

Tracy Slotin, BSc, BA, MBA (Leadership)
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change/Innovation Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Proxemics and why you want to know how to use it to your best advantage in your communication – Clear communication Part 4

2007-02-23T23:49:00.000-08:00

Proxemics is the study of the human use of space within the context of culture. In Edward T. Hall’s 1966 book The Hidden Dimension he argues that human perceptions of space are created through our sensing (seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling/touch) of the culture in which we live. He also states that the differing culture structures for defining and organizing space are internalized at an unconscious level and can lead to serious miscommunications and misunderstanding in cross-cultural settings.

In animals we see this space phenomenon through marking of territory. Animals are concerned with an imaginary ring, which marks a zone of threat. If another animal crosses that unseen line the animal will flee. Beyond that circle is an inner circle where that animal will defend against an intruder. If an intruder manages to penetrate that inner circle through deceit or speed most animals will instinctively attack.

Humans are similar. We mark our territory through walls and furniture. We have boundaries that mark our personal space. If an individual approaching is intimately related, they will be able to enter the space without harm to either party. Any over step of the boundary by another can cause distress or anger. Personal boundary zones vary from culture to culture. Even within cultures there are wide individual differences.

Judee Burgoon –(Arizona Communication professor) believes there is a culturally appropriate distance at which one should interact and any departure from cultural norms may be harmful or beneficial to our communication. In her Nonverbal Expectancy Violations Model she states that minor deviations in space from expected will tend to get lost in the shuffle of competing non-verbal cues. But, when the distance chosen by the transmitter does not match the one predicted by the receiver the violation causes arousal and distraction. Instead of being able to concentrate on the message of the transmitter the receiver will be wondering about the nature of the relationship. Physical closeness is translated into psychological closeness. This fosters a greater understanding, trust, attitude change and other positive payoffs that are often sought after through communication.
If a greater gap is created than expected by the receiver the receiver will search for social context for clues that will help create understanding of what the distance means. Both standing too close and too far away from another in a conversation will pull the attention away from the message.

Tracy Slotin, B.Sc., B.A., MBA (Leadership)
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change/Innovation Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Body Language – Clear Communication Part 3

2007-02-12T22:36:00.000-08:00

Communication is so much more than the words we hear. Every time I teach body language I am amazed at how we come pre-wired with this information in our brains. Body language is instinctual. When I teach body language it is teaching people something they don’t know that they know. It is something their brain already analyzes subconsciously I’m just bringing it to their consciousness. The importance behind body language is this: if you don’t know what you’re projecting to another you might be telling them the opposite of what you’re saying. Since body language makes up large part of the message you project it is very easy to create a misunderstanding.

In my seminars I have my participants run through this one exercise to demonstrate the body language – communication connection. I pair two people up and have them sit facing each other looking in each other’s eyes. One is designated the leader and the other is the follower. The leader recites colors (red, green, blue, yellow, etc....) continuously in random order. The follower repeats the colors as soon as each color leaves the lips of the leader. The follower’s aim is to say the color as fast as they can after the leader. After a couple minutes of doing this, the leader appears to become the follower. The follower seems to be able to read the body language of the leader and predict which color the leader will say before the words leave the leader’s mouth. I, myself don’t know what the body language indication is for the color red, but I can assure you it exists.

In our quest for creating clear communication knowing we have a specific body language for colors doesn’t really help us in business but knowing what our stance, posture or sitting position is communicating could be the difference between obtaining contracts, jobs or influencing others.

To appear interested in a conversation we want to make sure we are in a receptive position. Using a closed posture such as having our arms are crossed over our chest indicates we are not interested, we are impatient, don’t believe what another is saying or we are dominant. In our history, for kings to appear dominant they would stand with their hands on the hips. Placing your hands in your pockets is a modified version of this dominance stance. If you are standing having a conversation with a female you will not persuade her if you stand with you hands in your pockets because in this position you will be dominating her and putting her at disadvantageous position. A better position is to hold you hands clasped in front or behind you and you will get better results. This works because female communicate in a linear way (1) and by clasping your hands in this way you are equalizing yourself to the position of the individual you are communicating with. On the converse if you are dealing with a male audience you want to express dominance - males communicate hierarchically (2) in this way you might use your hands in the conversation, invade their space by standing closer to them, or have you hands in your pockets.

When standing you need to look at your leg and feet positioning as well. If you are facing the person transmitting the communication and your feet are positioned facing toward the communicator it shows you are interested. If your body is diagonal to the person you are indicating dominance by showing you are open to an alternative conversation if another person approaches. If your legs are crossed with your feet facing forward (something like the position a child would hold themselves if they had to go to the bathroom but without the bouncing) you are indicating you are comfortable in the conversation and not ready to leave the conversation. If you hold your weight on one foot with the other foot pointing out you are ready to leave the conversation and head in the direction of the outward facing foot.

When sitting you want to show interest in the person speaking by sitting at the edge of the seat, leaning forward toward the conversation. I have been a witness to many meetings where I introduced contacts to each other to forward business and the person who would have received a great bounty sat with their hands folded across their chest and in a reclined position. In doing so they indicated to the individual referring business that they new it all, that they were not open to any contribution and they were in charge when in fact they weren’t. The person that sat with their arms folded had no idea why they were never referred business.

The way your legs are positioned while sitting can indicate dominance or submissiveness in the conversation. Kings would sit on their thrones with their legs wide open because they were not afraid someone would attack their most vulnerable areas. The position takes up the most room of all the sitting positions. Less dominant to this open leg position is the open legs with the ankle crossed at the knee. This position also takes up room but is considered less dominant than the first position. The third position is less dominant that the ankle knee position but still takes up room. It is the legs in an open position but elongated and crossed at the ankles.

Submissive positions are sitting positions that have the individual conserve space with the knees and the ankles close together. Either the position with one leg over the other or sitting with legs side by side – both are considered submissive. What’s interesting is, that dependent on how your brain is wired you will gravitate toward one sitting style unless placed in particular position where you feel the need to express dominance or submissiveness – it is both situational and preferentially based as to how you will sit at any particular time.

I have had the experience where a consultant is surprised the company we are both working for has obtained another consultant and the surprised consultant starts rolling up their sleeves as if they were preparing for a fight. Knowing this posture always prepares me beforehand that anything I might say in front of this consultant will be challenged and to maintain the confidence of the client I need to remain guarded during the meeting of my credibility.

In a meeting you can read who is the most important person by figuring out who is doing most of the speaking – or who is directing the conversation. Sometimes it is not the person that is in the leadership position and figuring this out is as complex the individuals themselves. I was working with the government and attended a meeting with a council group who were approving the project I was working on. During the presentation on one individual challenged the speakers presenting the projects then if he liked the speakers answers he would advocate for that speaker’s project. The remainder of the group did not respond and seemed to be satisfied with this individual’s choices. After analyzing this group for a while it was discovered the leader was really not the leader. There was a silent leader (you could see because this individual was checking in with the leader continuously – sometimes this looks like eye contact between two individuals). Often the silent leader would discredit the presenter’s work enough times until the perceived leader would change his mind. None of the silent leaders issues would be brought up or taken care of by the presenter because the discreditation would happen privately between the perceived leader and silent leader. In meetings like this it very important to know the players and how they communicate – what they’re language is so that if you have to, you provide some damage control. In this situation to have our presentation be accepted we needed to deal with the silent leader’s concerns first before we even presented to the group.

Body language is very important. What ever positioning you use, make sure yours fits the message you are trying to convey to your audience but also be willing to watch the language and see what others are really saying too. If you are unsure of another’s messaging this where you can stop them and ask for clarity.

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

(1) Tannen, Deborah Talking 9to 5: Men and Women Talking at Work
(2) Tannen, Deborah Talking 9to 5: Men and Women Talking at Work

Clear communication - Part 2 – masculine and feminine communication

2007-02-01T22:20:00.000-08:00

Some individuals call habitual forms of thinking – mental models. Another method or clearing our communication is by learning how to speak to our receiver’s listening. Although we don’t know instantly from looking at a person what mental models they hold in their conversation we can look at a number of stereotypical factors to help us transmit more effectively.

One of the first things we recognize on meeting an individual is their sex. If we can’t determine this difference we instantly have difficulty in concentrating on our conversation. We can use this partly for our advantage. Communication differences exist between whether you have a masculine (focused) or feminine (multitasking) brain.

There has been quite a bit of controversy with this research so let me set some of the facts straight up front. The researchers use the terms “masculine” and “feminine” brain. A “masculine brain” is a brain that in structure has fewer connections between the right and left hemisphere and typically less grey matter. This type of brain is great for focused work. It likes to concentrate on one thing at a time, can sense directions, is very effective in accomplishing tasks and typically has few communication centers. A “feminine brain” is a brain that in structure has more connections between the right a left hemisphere and typically more grey matter. This type of great is great for multitasking – it is more effective doing more than one task, it cannot sense directions it has many communication centers.

Neither your sex nor sexual orientation determine how masculine or feminine your brain is. Anne Moir’s (a Geneticist) has found that 90% of women have “feminine” brains and 80% of males have “masculine” brains. A later blog will go into the details of how this helps shape communication. You got the brain you did as a result of how much testosterone you received in your mother’s womb.

These brain differences create differences in our communication and particularly how we see the world around us. If you have a multitasking brain you are never working on just one thing at one time, which means that your transmission is going to be on many different levels at the same time. This is why many females seem to communicate indirectly. They are communicating in many different ways and through many different forms. If you are on the receiving end of this and you expect the message only to be contained through one medium (i.e.: words) and the message is in various forms - the body language, tone, proximity, speed etc. then you might miss the complete message.

If you have a focus brain, you will only be working on one level at a time and this will be reflected in your communication. Your transmission will be direct and to the point providing information for a purpose. If a multitasking brain is receiving this message they are expecting a transmission to contain many different types of transmission and may feel like something is missing in the communication. This might cause the multitasking brain to not trust the message because something feels like it’s missing or alternatively the brain automatically fills in the missing pieces. Again the message is disrupted.

Knowing these differences before any transition or receipt of transmission can give us the edge in understanding what we need to add or listen for in our communication.

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Creating Clear Communication

2007-02-01T21:36:00.000-08:00

Communication is made up of a transmitter and a receiver. For the receiver to receive the communication they must first speak the same language and a similar dialect to the language and dialect the transmitter is using.

What we rarely realize is that our communication is riddled with unique dialects and that complete understanding of a single transmission rarely occurs. Our unique dialects come from our biases, intentions, experiences, biology, sociology and psychology. Real communication only begins when we stop projecting our biases, intentions, experiences, biology, sociology and psychology into our communicating and listening and start to create and listen to reality freshly.

When we receive outside information our brain takes that information and compares it to what it already knows (1). Then the brain alters the information and stores the altered information. It is as if our brains are playing the childhood game Broken Telephone -where one child receives an whispered word and passes it to another child. Then that child passes it to another and so on until the last child informs the group of the incorrect word. Each individual’s experience of the word alters the word.

To be able to communicate and listen without our habitual form of communicating and listening Senge et al (2) suggests we need to learn how to suspend or remove ourselves from our habitual systems of thought. To accomplish this takes quite a bit of personal change and commitment. If you are committed: here are some steps I have found that work:

1.) Make a commitment to observe yourself – to make any change one must figure out what needs to change. A great way to do this is to journal situations, experiences, and interactions with others every day.
2.) Once you have them down on paper you want to look at each incident – it doesn’t matter whether it was a good or bad experience (“good” or “bad are judgments based on personal bias) and examine them in detail. Where in your life (what areas, who with, what time period) did you experience a similar experience? What about the conversation was familiar? Trace your experiences back as far back in your memory as you can. Be willing to re-examine each experience as sometimes it takes a while to find the first incident of an experience.
3.) Once you’ve traced the incident back as far as you can, figure out what feelings this incident created for you. What did you make up about yourself as a result of that conversation?
4.) Bring your first experience back to the current situation. How did the decisions you made about yourself in the earliest instance affect the outcome of the most recent situation.

Most conversations we have over and over again. It may be with different people, under different circumstance, in a different area of our lives, but it is the same conversation. Our communication is the only way we interact with the world around us. If we want to change the outcomes were getting – for example getting to understand what we’re saying and understanding others we need change our habitual way of interacting with the world and this is one way to accomplish this.

To create clear communication we must remove these hidden aspects. We’ve all experienced holding a conversation where we were instantly put at ease or a conversation where we were not heard at all. When we felt understood it was easy to hold a conversation when we weren’t understood we felt depleted or even frustrated. We also experience that in reading articles. Some are hard to read – while others are easy read and fast flowing.

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

(1) Edward T. Hall – The Silent Langugue
(2) Senge, Peter, C, Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, and Betty Sue Flowers Presence: An Exploration of Profound Change in People, Organizations, and Society Random House, New York, NY 2004

Financial Communication

2007-01-29T23:40:00.000-08:00

In our past we developed techniques for measuring the growth of companies. That was when our economy was certain. It was in a growth mode. Somewhere before the 3rd wave (Alvin Toffler) or the information age had turned our markets on their heads we were in the industrial age - where everything was increasing, interest rates were increasing steadily and that is when we created most of the financial metrics available today. Now that we are well within the eye of the storm of the in information age we are still using those same measures. That doesn’t make sense to me. I see us as a financial society effectively doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result – we are living the definition of insanity.

How long has it been that we can’t use the rule of 72? Yet we still hold out for the day when we can use that metric again. The truth of the matter is that our markets won’t stabilize into the same pattern again and we will never be able to use that rule. All the metrics we have created to control and compartmentalize our world are quickly becoming defunct without valid replacement. They are becoming extinct and we are behind in our replacement of them hurdling toward crisis. What is really going on is that no one is willing to admit is that we are not embracing the change we see in our economy.

We, as habit-forming beings, prefer to build on our previous knowledge rather than start anew. When we are looking and assessing analyzing our companies (for investment purposes or to assess financial health of the company we’re working with) we are using old technology – we are using structural thinking, we are using analytics that are no longer describing the same picture. Yet we as humans, even though we know this intuitively, we still do the same thing over and over again. We would rather excel at doing something we know than suck (a technical word) at doing something new. This is very apparent any time even a small transformation (either personal or organizational) needs to take place.

Financial metrics are very interesting. I understand not every one holds a fascination for numbers so I’ll break it down how I see it. Financial metrics or information is really a language in itself like the language English we speak to each other. Financial metrics are used by individuals outside an organization to assess what has taken place inside the organization during predermined periods of time. If you understand how to read the financial information it provides you with a picture (not a complete picture) of what has taken place during the year or period. This is past information or old information that in our habit to date we look at and predict the future. Thing is, the present is a better prediction of the future than the past. However we have no way of measuring the present – or do we?

Let’s look at a skill we all seem to take fore granted: Communication. If I were to only communicate to you using my words I would sound much like a computer. There would be no tone fluctuations, you wouldn’t see my hand gestures, or know if I were joking or arguing with you. This is what the communication is like using the current financial metrics. It only gives part of the picture. If we listen to the communication of the corporations we can get a better picture to figure out the future possibilities with respect to financial metrics.

Being a financial auditor for many years has taught me well about listening to a company and integrating the information. When I walk into a company I listen to everything it has to tell me. What are the people saying and who are they talking to? Are they tired, stressed, over worked, bored, etc. All these things will signal you what is the present situation in the organization and helps predict the future of the organization and can be seen as soon as walk into the organization.

For example, I walked into a company to just in time to hear one of it’s sales people say it could get a customer their merchandise 5 days after the order was placed. I already knew the company was a manufacturing company and could not produce the order within the 5-day window. This told me there was little communication between the production and sales department, which is a sign of poor leadership within the entire company. Right away I wondered how cash-strapped the company was due to leadership disorganization.

The first thing we learn in life is how to communicate. How to speak a base language and that forms our method of being able to interact with the world. With further growth and development we learn different dialects based on our experiences and the backgrounds we are exposed to. We all may be speaking the same language but we all speak different dialects of that language. In school we learn how to read and write but not to bridge the gaps between all our different dialects.

If we make the effort and become proficient in understanding the communication of human beings we can use this as a method of accurately measuring our organization’s present giving us a more complete picture of the future. We will be using dynamic measurements to measure dynamic forces.

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Communication – our words are more powerful than measure.

2007-01-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

The importance of communication seems to be dismissed in our society. In school we learn how to read and write, but never on how to speak to one another or how to listen. We are assumed to have these habits engrained in our DNA – although if we did we would have all done the same, with respect to grades, in school.

In the sea of corporate culture there is another focus and numbers focus – how to read financial data. What the numbers say is usually created from calculations that are sometimes compared to what is already known. Depending on how versed you are in reading these numbers (based on your background) will determine your ability to interpret their meaning.

When Microsoft builds its products, it uses existing knowledge of what products came before. Even though it is a new product it is built from the same form. As result we might see similar type errors in upgrading software. This was also the reason for the mass hysteria surrounding the Y2K concerns of computers shutting down our societies.

When we communicate there is typically and transmitter and a receiver. If the receiver has an experience base different than the transmitter the information sent by the transmitter will be altered and thus the communication may be foiled (IE: a miscommunication.)

It similar to the childhood game Broken Telephone. If I whisper a word into an individual’s ear – they have a certain experience of this word and they compare it to what the already know and then alter it. Then they whisper into another person’s ear that second person has a unique experience of the word and compares it to their unique experience and alters it and the process gets carried on through many different parties we will find at the end the word has changed and probably doesn’t sound anything like the original word.

Now think about your day-to-day interactions with the individuals around you. How many misunderstandings do you have in a day? How many times is a person interpreting your actions and words and not understanding what you are communicating? Probably with every conversation you have. The reason for this is because there are many things blocking you communication.

In the next little while we will be exploring these items through this blog. I would love to hear your examples as we go through unlocking your communication power.

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change Consultants
www.ExecutveSandbox.com

Brain Health for Sustaining Change

2007-01-19T23:04:00.000-08:00

It’s been a while (a whole week) – I’m off my game and starting again on my 2007 resolution to post a blog everyday. As my excuse I’ve been working on preparing the Emergenetics ® Seminar announcement for the Seminar on the 26th of February. I have been having a bit of trouble figuring out which format to send the email out with. But with that excuse, I am starting again on my 21 days of creating this habit of posting a blog everyday.

As with every posting I want to provide you with value, but I would like to also post the information for the upcoming seminar. Today, I want to give you some brain exercises – these are part of the many games and fun you would experience in the Emergenetics® seminar on February 26th.

If you want to be able to use your brain optimally for change you need to keep your brain healthy. To do this you need to exercise and feed your brain things it needs. What most people know about their bodies is that their bodies need water to live. But what most people are not aware of is that our nerves and neuropeptides (brain material) are made up of oils. We need this oil for proper nerve conduction. The way we get that oil is through the different types of foods we eat particularly fish. The problem is oil is 100% fat and we as North Americans have a bad relationship with fats. There are good fats (unsaturated) and bad fats (saturated). If we don’t have some fat in our diet we will experience forgetfulness, disruption of focus, and disturbed sleep to name a few symptoms.

Another item to consider for brain health is daily exercise. Exercising you body – physical activity - will help keep you brain fit but there are a number of other exercises you can do to exercise your brain:

Seek challenges and learning that stimulates different parts of the brain – items like crossword puzzles, Sudoku or others offer challenge. Welcome new ideas, new pursuits, new activities into your life – change your exercise routines, type of exercise, the way you get to work, etc. By changing different parts of your life it acts in a way of maintaining a healthy brain. Here are some additional brain exercises:

1. Cross-Crawls. With your right hand, touch your left ankle. Now with your left hand, touch your right ankle. This is most effectively done standing up, but works sitting down too. This exercise is thought o integrate the right and left hemispheres of your brain. And by clearing the potassium and sodium that builds up in your brain when you concentrate, it will help you read faster and comprehend more (1).

2. Crazy eights. Make big “eights” horizontally (like the infinity sign) in the air with your right hand. Without moving your head, follow your thumb with your eyes. Make the eights as big as your peripheral vision will allow. Now do the same thing with your left hand. This may help integrate both sides of your body (1).

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

(1) Geil Browning, Emergenetics: Tap into the New Science of Success (New York: Harper Collins, 2006)

Organizational Change – An Inquiry

2007-01-11T22:02:00.000-08:00

What would happen to our change practices if we began all our work with the positive presumption that organizations, as centers of human relatedness, are alive with infinite constructive capacity? That the organizations themselves contain the answers of how to create change and what changes need to be made, are already contained within the organizational knowledge.

This question is the very basis of Appreciative Inquiry. Appreciative Inquiry looks at the strengths of organizations through methods of inquiry. Then leads the organization through a dream, design and achievement process to create sustained change.

Leading change is all about strengths. In most organizational change mechanisms, practitioners fix what’s wrong and let the strengths take care of themselves. In Appreciative Inquiry concentration is put on the strengths of the organization by engaging the positive potential of all employees toward transformation the company.

To get an idea of the power of Appreciative Inquiry answer for your self the following two questions and observe your response:

1. What are the problems associated with your organization?
2. What are your favorite experiences of working with the organization you work with?

Which question had you feel energized? Which took away your energy? Which question had you look forward to work and which one made you not want to go to work?

In Appreciative Inquiry we use questions that build energy around the future direction of the company. The positive is the focus of the inquiry. The very basis of the method has the organization solve its own issues and gain confidence about its own abilities to solve its own issues through recognizing the organization’s positive core.

This is one of the methods of communication The Executive Sandbox® employs in every change mechanism, every coaching session and every seminar. We choose to build up the companies and individuals we work with. Ever since I was trained in using this method I’ve had this continuous nagging question going through my mind – if Appreciative Inquiry is so powerful to empower massive organizations to create change, then what is our current speaking doing to other people? Could it be that our speaking to another keeps them from advancing, changing, and evolving in their lives? Could we be others stumbling blocks? In which case we all need to learn and practice Appreciative Inquiry.

Tell me your thoughts,

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Personal Change

2007-01-10T00:49:00.000-08:00

Today while visiting a client we started to engage in a conversation about our collections of stuff we cannot bare to part with. The biggest problem was that the stuff we wanted to keep was small or we thought we might use again and did not want to throw it away. However, the extra stuff had created a situation where we are living on top of our stuff.

I remember many years ago when my paternal grandmother past away, my family went through her piles and collections. She even had a collection of used zippers and buttons she saved out of a lifetime of clothing she was finished wearing. I swore to myself I wouldn’t be the same. I would throw things out or give them away when the items weren’t useful anymore.

When one of my girlfriends passed away suddenly last year, I had another reminder of how too much stuff could be a problem. After two days of her family cleaning her suite I still couldn’t see how there was two bedrooms in her condo. There was so much stuff it was unbelievable. Still, I took some of her furniture into my small place making it even smaller.

I constantly wonder why we collect things in life. Why do we need things? Why does having things provide comfort? We certainly can’t take it with us in the end, so why have it to begin with?

Feng Shui suggests that if we remove old, used items from our space we are making room for other new items to appear in our lives. Often I’ve used this philosophy to figure out if a person was open to having others in their life. If your living space has only room for you, then how can you invite another into that space?

Every year around this time I get itchy for change. Especially when I’ve been looking at the same walls for a while. I have decided to get rid of the extra furniture and any extra clothing, paper, etc. I can part with.

The only I have as suggestions for getting rid of your excess stuff are the following: Have someone, a friend help you part with your stuff - going it alone will only have you do the minimum. Set up rules with that individual before hand so that your most prized possessions do not get thrown out but at the same time you do not hold onto everything you don’t need in your space. Get rid of all items that are on a someday course (someday I will read, someday I will finish this project, someday when...). Anything you are unsure of throwing out or giving away put in a designated place until you feel comfortable giving them away or throwing them out. I usually give items a maximum time limit of a year. If I do not touch it in a year I get rid of it. The main thing to know is, it’s hard to change and we get comfortable (develop habits of laziness) quite easily. The best way to do this type of change is like ripping off a band-aid – quickly!

Tracy Slotin, MBA
CEO and Grand SandMaster
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Personal Change

2007-01-09T00:27:00.000-08:00

As you can see from my own example of writing a blog entry everyday as my New Year’s resolution – I have fallen off the wagon. It really is difficult to create change due to the way our brains work. However, if you are determined (I am determined to develop this writing habit) to change your habits then eventually you will change.

Some of the reason why it is difficult to make change is due to our scheduling of the desired habit. Using myself as an example for this, typically we don’t make room in our life for the changes we want to make. If having a shower every morning is important to me, I always seem to have enough time. Yet, for writing, I don’t have a specific time that I write where others will not interrupt me. Beyond this, when someone interrupts me, whether it be by phone, email or being in my space I welcome them in instead of requesting them to rescheduling a conversation, a request, etc., at a different time. What this means is, I don’t like to tell them this time is not that great for me.

Many times we don’t schedule (i.e.: put in our schedule) our own time and keep those appointments. Our mothers taught us to take care of others before ourselves and as a result we don’t get to accomplish the things we desire. This might be the one thing that’s in the way of accomplishing a new habit – our habit of not keeping our promises to our selves.

Another thing that may keep us from our goal is fear or worry. Fear of success also comes under this heading. If we let our fears stop us in our path to our goals then we will only have the path of being fearful. We don’t get the goal. We only get the fear.

Fear is an inherited response. We’ve evolved with it. It is a reptilian response to unfamiliar stimulus that was used to keep us safe. If we continue to engage in it we develop a habit of listening to it. It becomes a learned behavior. Over the years I’ve come across a number of solutions to dealing with fear but the best one I came across recently.

We all have thinking preferences or parts of our brain we prefer to use. If we are using the right side of our brain to process information and we are getting worried or fearful we need to switch to processing on the left side of the brain. Sure that sounds easy, but what does that mean?

The two sides of our brain are responsible for different kinds of thought. Although their functions are normally integrated, they possess capacities and can operate independently. The right side of the brain processes asymmetrical thinking and its function is to work on intuitive, emotional, holistic, nonverbal, visual, spatial, and simultaneous comprehension tasks. The left side of the brain performs symmetric thinking and its function is to work on rational, logical, analytical, mathematical, verbal, linear, sequential ordering tasks.

Now, think about the tasks you perform everyday. What task are you performing when you are fearful? Next time you are fearful, switch to task that is using the other side of the brain. This will eliminate your fear and you will be able to fulfill your goal.

Tracy Slotin, MBA
CEO and Grand SandMaster
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Planning – Starting With the End In Mind

2007-01-07T01:36:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of our strategic planning process we create a company vision. The second step is to create goals that directly fall out of that vision. The third step is to set those goals to a timeline. These three items make up the organization’s strategic plan.

When setting goal to a timeline the most common way of creating the timeline is to first create the goal and the time frame in which the goal should ideally be reached. Then the planning group creates a timeline of all the people and resources they need to achieve the goal by the time limit. When they are thinking about creating the goal, the planning group are mostly concerned with the HOW of creating the goal. In doing this they start from the point of nothing and create the first step, then the second step, and so on until they think they will achieve the completed project.

The problem with this type of planning is that the planning process requires quite a bit of time to plan in this way. It also requires that all the people involved in the planning process to already have the expertise of creating the goal which many times is not the case. Because not everyone will have the skills at the time of the planning there is a strong possibility that there will be time overruns during the implementation process. Errors made in the actual plan will start to show up when adjusting the plan from perceived step to the actual steps needed to achieve the goal.

There is another way to plan and it takes only a fraction of the time; it is called planning with the end in mind. Planning in this way is a RESULTS focus plan rather than HOW focused plan. The way it works is this: Choose a goal and the date of achievement. Then for that date write down all RESULTS that you will have that will show you have achieved that goal. What would you HAVE as a result of achieving that goal?

The next step seems counter intuitive. Many people that I’ve done this exercise with have a great deal of problems shifting their mental models. For this type of planning you will need to trust the process. The second step is to choose the date half way between the achievement date and today’s date (If your final achievement date is in 20 years half would be 10 years from today.) and write down the RESULTS that you will have achieved by the halfway point of the RESULTS you wrote down from the final results list. What would you HAVE at the halfway point a result of achieving your final goal? Do not think about what you would have to do from today’s date to get to that halfway point.

The next step is to choose the date half way between the halfway point (or the quarter-point) and today’s date (If your halfway point is in 10 years the quarter-point would be 5 years from today.) and write down the RESULTS that you will have achieved by the quarter point of the RESULTS you wrote down from the halfway point results list. What would you HAVE at the quarter point as result of achieving your halfway goal? Do not think about what you would have to do from today’s date to get to that quarter-point.

Repeat this process until you come to know what RESULTS you will need to achieve tomorrow. Once you come to this point you will find that the method of how to achieve each step will fall out easily out of the RESULTS map you have created. This method allows you to not have the expertise but gives you the time frame in which you need to have the expertise to create the result. It allows a goal, no matter how large to appear completely achievable. I have had individuals create world peace, fix environmental problems, bring democracy to China, etc, and know how it was completely achievable by using this planning method.

Please try it and tell me how it works for you.

Tracy Slotin, MBA
CEO
The Executive Sandbox® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

Vision Creation

2007-01-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

I travel a great deal all over the United States and Canada providing seminars on business management. When I ask about corporate vision or even corporate mission I am always surprised with the responses I get. Very few (1 in 15, maybe even less) companies have a corporate vision or mission. Of those companies that have a vision or mission very few of the individuals in my seminars knew what they were and even fewer still were not a part of creating those important statements.

Out of all the seminar participants I have had this year and asked them about their corporate mission and vision only 2 said that their companies regularly meet about how their company was incorporating their mission and vision into their everyday work.

The reason for a vision is that it is the inception thought of your company. If your company is already in existence the reason for recreating your vision is for plotting a new course or direction. Most companies change their vision with the change of their CEO. If your company has changed CEOs many times your company may be suffering from change exhaustion.

Creating a vision is a way of having all individuals in your company on the same wavelength. It will help have your employees agree on how the company is to roll forward into the future and how it work together to obtain goals. Your vision involves each individual that works for your company so that they can express the vision.

When creating a mission you are creating the reason for why the company exists or what problem does the company solve. Not included in the mission is how individuals relate to carry out the inception thought or direction. This is included when creating the vision.

When creating a vision you might want to create a vision for your self, your team, your department as well as your whole company. Doing so may make all tasks easier to achieve.

When creating a vision you want to include everyone in your company. This might not seem feasible due to the size of your company or work group but I will break it down for you here. Creating a vision is a change mechanism and unless you get all individuals involved in the creation you cannot create buy-in which you need for implementation.

The first step in creating a vision is to brainstorm the qualities, values and/or virtues the company extols and emulates. In brainstorming it is imperative that the participants know there is no wrong contribution. If your company is too large to have face-to-face brainstorming sessions an email format can be used as well (IE: Send out an email to all employees asking for their input on what are the qualities, values and/or virtues the company extols and emulates.). Make sure to include instructions to obtain a minimum submission of 8 qualities, values and/or virtues. If there are groups that can not be reached – you will need a representative(s) of the missing group(s) that is(are) trusted by the missing group to contribute for them.

The next step would be to compile a complete list of the submissions and eliminate any duplicate values. Then send this list back out to all the contributors and have each contributor choose their top 6 from the list.

Again, a new list of 8-10 of the top values chosen should be compiled from the top chosen qualities, values and/or virtues. With this new list create one to two sentences that encapsulate the ideas presented and send this out to the contributors to adjust and ensure it encompasses the language that the contributors use.

Finally, send the statement out to the contributors as a final document for them to agree to and sign.

By involving everyone in the company you create a vision that encapsulates the ideas of the entire group. The further involvement and contribution into something larger than one individual creates a sense of pride and attachment, which increases buy-in. By having each person work with the wording of the vision it allows each person to ensure their language, their dialect of language is included in the vision making them an instrumental part of vision and creates further buy-in. The final signing creates the agreement.

Once you have a vision that works for all in your company then you can start the strategic planning process.

Tracy Slotin, MBA
CEO
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
http://www.ExecutiveSandbox.com

“If you wish to arrive at a place you do not know, you must take a path you do not know.” –T.S. Elliot

Culture in change

2007-01-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

During any change mechanism there are two main phases:

• Conception and planning
• Implementation.

One of the most ignored factors during organizational change is organizational culture. Culture plays a huge role in any change mechanism and if it is not looked at it could be the stopping block of your change mechanism. In most instances strategic change initiatives are mandated and employees are rarely if ever asked for input or to approve the changes during the conception and planning phase. In fact most changes are made without the asking the very people that will have to implement the change or will be directly affected by the change. To make matters worse, the change might be generated by outside consultants who know less about the organization than the individuals that work in the very trenches of the organization creating a learned helplessness and/or resistance response.

When we start to dissect an organizations culture we have to start our study at the smallest possible link, which is our communication. We all need to be speaking the same language. If I start this journey with the word culture there is a problem inherent with the word itself. The word culture does not have a finite meaning. It is a morph word and takes on meaning depending on the words that surround it. Similarly, our corporate cultures take their meaning from the individuals (the influences) that create that culture. If we do not define it, both in definition and for our corporate purposes, how can we ever expect to change it, engage it or even interact with this nebulous form?

For the purpose of this blog I will define the word culture as a group of assumptions of how the world should and does operate that a group of people share that determines their thoughts, perceptions, feelings and behavior. It is a set of measurable, directional, and distinguishable conversations and actions that form the written and unwritten rules of behavior governing how individuals interact – in your organization(1). These rules directly influence how work is accomplished and how fast or slow any change mechanism is going to be incorporated into an organization if at all.

In some instances the change mechanism is completely in line with the corporate culture and it takes little effort to create the change. An example of this would be for a Starbuck’s barista to learn how to make a new beverage. The problem with the organizations culture comes up when the change initiative stray too far from the way things are usually done within the organization. An organization’s culture will allow, dictate the timing, or completely halt the implementation of any change mechanism.

If corporate culture is nebulous, how does one measure it? Ken Matejka and Al Murphy (2) suggest having participants of the culture come up with adjectives that characterize the current work culture in the organization. To start to uncover corporate culture point the focus at things like attire, conversations, house keeping, language used, offices, expectations about what works and what doesn’t work, procedures, rituals and traditions, signs and workspace. Make sure any unwritten ground rules are included like, being a team player means being at all the corporate outings.

Embracing the existing organizational culture and incorporating input from that culture may seem to be the slower route but it will allow for reflection and insights to develop and build commitment to give the implementation a chance of going smoothly. Attaching a sense of urgency to the change mechanism will increase the chances of disrupting the organizational culture causing further delay in the change initiative.

A reminder must be made that when we choose to take on any change we are dealing with human brains. As soon as we introduce a must comply or forced scenario we will receive a two-year old-like brain rebellion. This is one of the most common reasons change initiatives fail. Having employees help create the change initiatives will help create commitment for the change and have the change be closer to the existing organizational structure creating a quicker and easier change implementation.

Change is always about connecting on a human level. Spending the time to understand the culture will help the change occur.

Tracy Slotin, MBA
CEO
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
http://www.executivesandbox.com

(1) Stephen W. Hobbs and Darsell Karringten Cultural Transition: exploring Transition-based Organization Through TRACE(c) (Calgary, AB: The International Institute for Cultural Transition 2001).

(2) Making Change Happen On Time, On Target, On Budget (Mountain View, CA: Davies-Black Publishing 2005).

New Year’s Resolutions - The Ultimate Personal Change Mechanism

2007-01-02T22:23:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time we as humans have this ritual of setting New Year’s Resolutions. It’s like a system we have set in place where everyone around us asks how we are going to change in our lives this year. It is reported by many fitness institutions that the resolution crowd joins the fitness crazy every January with barely 1% sticking to their original resolution.

Why is it so hard for us to change our patterns? Why when we have the best intentions of betterment do we fail? There is a very good reason for the possibility failure to be closely linked with our new resolution for change. When we look at any change whether personal or corporate we must first look at the smallest common denominator – in either case we need to look at how we process information or how our brains work.

When we challenge ourselves with a resolution we are not only asking ourselves to develop a new habit but also to stop indulging in another well established habit we have developed against the very resolution we are trying to start.

Our brains like to create automatic processes. Every time we perform an activity we create a neural connection. The more times we repeat or practice the activity the greater number of neural connections we create in our brain. When we first learn a task like driving a car, we have to pay attention to many different inputs such as looking at three mirrors, shoulder checks, peddle usage, etc. This information is stored in our short term-memory. As this task is practiced it transfers into our long-term memory and becomes an automatic process where we can insert the keys into the ignition and not remember the drive to work.

It is said by some brain researchers it takes 21 days in a row of performing a task before that task becomes habit. Likewise, it takes 21 days in a row of not performing a task to break a habit. For example: if I want to stop biting my nails I need to not bite my nails for 21 days in a row. If I breakdown and bite my nails on the 12th day then I need to start my count to 21 from the beginning. Many times a habit we want to break may persist beyond the 21 days it takes to break it. This is a result of the foundation created by the habit. With my nail-biting habit, if I’ve been biting my nails for 10 years, I’ve developed 10 years of connections in my brain. It will take me 21 days to break the habit but an additional 10 years in which I am at risk of re-establishing that habit with only a couple instances of biting my nails.

If you fail in your attempts to fulfill your new year’s habit – don’t despair – get right back on that horse and start counting your 21 days. Know that change is difficult and may require a couple attempts – it is tenacity that will help build that good habit you are working on. Here are some additional tips to help you succeed:

• Create a crystal clear picture of your target goal (how you feel when you achieve it, how it smells, tastes, etc.) to ensure that you develop your own sense of urgency to create the change you desire. This will help you with your commitment to your goal.
• Create a cheering team or a group that you report your progress to – they might even agree to be your resolution partner.
• Brainstorm fun and creative ways you can incorporate your resolution into your life for at least the next 21 days. The more creative you can be the easier it will be you to incorporate it and the more you’ll look forward to achieving your goal.
• Map out milestones and rewards for meeting those milestones (Make sure your milestones are clear e.g. loose 5 pounds by the end of month 1) and share these with your cheering team.
• Make sure every milestone is celebrated.
• If you do not meet your targets, figure out what has prevented you from reaching those goals. Analyze and chart your results (expectations vs. actual outcomes, times performed task etc.) Make these large, visual and hang them in a public place where others can see your progress too.

For myself, for this year, my habit or resolution I am taking on is blogging every single day starting with this blog entry. I have created the habit of writing in my life but not exposing my writing to others – or publishing my writing to the open public. I encourage you to make your resolutions as public as possible to have as many pulls as you can to achieve your goals.

In this blog I hope you will find useful insights and articles. Further, I would be delighted to hear your comments or feedback.

Tracy Slotin, MBA
CEO & Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox® Change Consultants

© Copyright The Executive Sandbox ® Inc., 2006

How to talk to a man

2005-10-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

I found this article and thought my readership would be interested in it.

Communication differences make issues between people larger. Issues in business result in massive amounts of waisted money in inefficiencies and effectiveness. Although I specialize in re-building organizations and tapping hidden revenue streams, communication is the most important hurdle required to overcome before effective change can take place. This article discusses our sex-related biological differences in listening and speaking behavior. There is also gender realted communication differences. 'Gender' meaning sociatal expectation of how a particular sex person will act or behave. It's one piece of the puzzle in translating an individual's language and a step forward in increasing your own effeciency and effectiveness.

Enjoy!

Tracy Slotin, MBA(Leadership)
CEO
The Executive Sandbox ® Inc.

New York Daily News
How to talk to a man
By MARIANNE J. LEGATO, M.D.
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

It seems there is no bigger difference between men and women — and no difference that causes more friction — than the way we communicate with each other. Over and over, I hear friends and patients say, "Sometimes talking to the man in my life is like banging my head against a brick wall. He just doesn't listen, or he's irritated and doesn't respond."

It's not that men don't listen or don't care. Rather, new research shows, they process what they hear differently than women do, quite possibly because of differences in their brain chemistry, structure and activity. If variations in our gray and white matter affect our mating behavior, as research suggests, it's not surprising that these differences might also influence how we relate to our children and friends and communicate with our partner. It's likely, too, that our brain differences affect our day-to-day exchanges, from the mundane to the most complex.

Thanks to improved imaging techniques and testing methods, the biological evidence of gender differences in our brains is emerging rapidly. Now researchers are able to compare what happens within men's and women's heads as they listen, think, remember and talk. Here are a few of the findings:

A man's brain is, to put it kindly, just different

Women have more nerve cells in the left half of the brain, the seat of the ability to process language, than men. And in the brain, quantity of cells often correlates with quality. In a gymnast's brain, for example, the balance and motor skills region is larger than in a nongymnast's, and the more the gymnast practices, the bigger it gets.

Women have a greater degree of connectivity between the two halves of the brain, and the network of fibers that connect their right and left brains (the corpus callosum) is larger. This may explain an unusual difference, the significance of which scientists don't yet fully understand: The sexes process single words similarly, but when interpreting a sentence, men use a single specific area on one side of the brain; women mobilize the same area, but in the right and left parts of the brain.

Women appear to use more of their brains to listen and speak. That doesn't make women better listeners or speakers, but the increased accessibility they have to some parts of their brains may make activities essential to communication easier for them.

Women tend to experience stress more intensely than men thanks to their rich estrogen supply, which activates a larger field of neurons than occurs in men during an upsetting experience.

Women are better at tasks that require memorization because their higher level of estrogen is associated with improved learning and memory.

Men can sometimes better identify straightforward emotions such as rage and aggression in others' facial expressions and tone of voice than women can. This may be a holdover from the days when men had to assess aggression in other males so they could speedily arrange a defense. But men don't score as high as women in picking up on subtle nonverbal cues that telegraph sadness or fear.

One of the most encouraging discoveries thus far is that the gender gap in our brain function narrows as we age. This improvement in compatibility may occur because we spend our lifetimes learning from one another and in so doing become more alike. Talking to each other in a different way — one that respects our differences — may speed that process.

Nine ways to improve communication with the man, or men, in your life

Don't try to compete with distractions

Initiating a discussion while he's watching television or surfing the Internet means you won't get his full attention. If distractions make it hard to have a certain kind of conversation while the two of you are preparing dinner, for example, take yourselves out of your home entirely: Go for a walk or to a restaurant for a drink. Try to pick a time that's convenient for each of you and when you're both alert.

Be patient

These strategies work, whether you're still in the first blush of romance, deciding to take your relationship to a more serious level, or long married. Be it your first serious discussion or the 4,000th, improving communication takes practice. Think of it as getting your brain and his in sync.

Stick to the subject

It takes a great deal of self-control to stop yourself from hurling old accusations, even when they have nothing to do with whatever sparked the current argument. Banishing the memory — and the impact — of a previous argument or betrayal isn't easy, but communication will be better if you attempt to restrict your discussion to the incident at hand.

Your husband may have made plans to play golf on Mother's Day last year, but that act of insensitivity has nothing to do with why he has once again forgotten to set aside time to pay overdue household bills. So the subject of that long-ago golf game should be considered off-limits for the purposes of your argument about the bills.

If you can limit your request to asking him to plan ahead so that he can dispatch the domestic responsibilities he has assumed, your husband has a better chance of "hearing" you, as opposed to tuning you out the way he does when you dredge up some misdemeanor that he can't change because it's in the past.

End the conversation before it's over

Another source of discord has to do with a difference of opinion about when a conversation should end. Because women are better at interpreting facial expressions, you're going to know when he's becoming bored or losing patience with a conversation, possibly even before he does. You may just be getting warmed up, but when you notice the signs, it's best to end it. Neither of you is at your best when you're tired, and men do seem to have less stamina for conversation than women do. It may take a few short talks to get the job done.

Give him a heads-up

Avoid misunderstandings by letting him know when you're about to say something that needs his close attention. Tell him clearly that you want to have a serious talk. Before you begin, tell him that this is going to be a "look-me-in-the-eye conversation."

Open with the positive

A patient recently told me about her failed attempt to improve communication with her husband. She began by saying, "You have a history of not listening to me, so I'm trying some new strategies in the hope of getting through to you." I suggested that next time she not be so critical but try some version of: "There's a recurring issue in our relationship that I believe we can fix together. I'd like to talk about the best way to handle it." It worked. Her husband was happy to listen when his opinion was courted. And he was less defensive when he wasn't accused of being obtuse.

... and say what you mean

Women often tell me, "I don't want to have to ask him to unload the dishwasher. I want him to see that I'm tired, and offer!" It's lovely when the people in our lives anticipate our needs, but expecting it without going to the trouble of making our needs known is nothing more than setting a trap.

So say what you're thinking. Telling him directly, "I've had a really terrible day" works better than a hangdog look. And instead of casting a reproachful or injured glance after he aims a barb your way, you might say, "That remark really hurt. Did you mean it?" Don't be surprised if he seems mystified. It's more evidence that he wasn't ignoring your feelings; he simply was unaware of them.

I have found that if I talk to a man the way I speak to a friend when I know that she's busy, my message gets across more successfully. For instance, if you want something done, outline it clearly and simply. And don't gild the lily: Avoid illustrating your points with anecdotes or unnecessary adjectives. A poet I met once said he imagined that every word he wrote cost $20. I have found this to be a useful editing tool in my conversations with men.

Sum it up

Women score higher in their ability to recall stories and lists immediately after hearing them. So certain tactics to adjust for this difference can help us get what we need from each other, particularly when we disagree. After an argument, I find it very helpful to sum up my point of view with a closing statement like: "I try to be kind to your family and be there with you when they need us, because I know you love them. Please help me with mine. Not only would they appreciate it, but I'd be really happy for your help as well." Keep it positive, and don't turn your request into a criticism. When you boil down many minutes of discussion into a succinct takeaway, you increase the chance that the conversation will stay in everyone's memory.

Ask for exactly what you want ...

Men are especially programmed to want to solve a problem when presented with one. But a solution isn't always what you're after. Sometimes you simply want to vent frustrations or anger or talk through potential solutions to determine which one makes the most sense. You're more likely to get the response you're hoping for if you tell your husband what you want from the beginning. For instance, you might say, "There are a number of ways this could go, and I'd appreciate it if you'd listen to a few of the options I'm considering." And if you're looking for a solution, ask him directly what he would do.

The Women’s Empowerment Weekend

2005-05-11T02:04:00.000-07:00

Announcing the very first of it’s kind, a woman’s weekend like no other!

The Women’s Empowerment Weekend

RECEIVE COACHING ON HOW TO MOVE FORWARD WITH ALL THOSE PROJECTS AND IDEAS THAT YOU HAVE HAD STORED AWAY INSIDE YOU. NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE ON THOSE DIFFICULT LIFE RELATIONSHIPS. LET ME SHOW YOU
HOW TO GAIN CLARITY AND FIND THE METHODS TO MOVE THROUGH PAST FRUSTRATION.

LEARN HOW TO BE EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE.
ARE YOU COPING WITH THE MADNESS OF INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE????????
NO TASK IS TOO SMALL. NO TASK IS TOO LARGE.
NO DESIRE SHOULD EVER BE OVER LOOKED
Have the life you always dreamed of at this low introductory price of
$50 per day!
Two days only!
Saturday: Take on your dream project:
You will learn:
• Basic project management and finance organization
• How to grow the idea that’s germinating inside you
• How to create the support needed for your ideas and where to find that support
• Extraordinary ways in which you’ll organize your time in order to provide mental and physical space for yourself
• How to quiet your fears
….. All in pursuit of your dreams!

Sunday: Dealing with difficult relationships
You will learn:
• How to increase your credibility through your communication
• How to take on difficult people
• How to get recognition and respect at work and/or at home.
• How to say ‘no’ and be heard
• How to work with and understand the opposite sex.
• How to get the best from your kids.

Meet and network with other women who are facing similar challenges in their lives.

If you’ve had an issue trying to get your “point across” COME TO THIS SESSION and learn why our communication is not as clear as we think it is. Learn the ways to combat these translations errors and much, MUCH MORE.
WORK WITH A CROSS-CULTURAL COMMUNICATION EXPERT

When: June 25th and June 26th
The Time: 9am -5pm
The Investment: $50 per day (we take visa, master card or cheque)
Where: Vancouver, BC (exact location will be disclosed closer to weekend dates)
What to bring: Your ideas, pen and notebook

You won’t leave the seminar without tools that will implement in your life.
Spaces are limited!
Call now to save your place!
604-734-4496

Sponsored by ExecutiveSandbox.com and DateDoctor.org

This is the first announcement so keep checking this blog for updates about this exciting event.

Executive Sandbox ® Inc Introductory Blog

2005-03-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

I would like to welcome you to the official launch of ExecutiveSandbox.com. This site is the result of many years of intercultural communication and business research. This Web Log is set up as a source of cutting edge communication technology and a forum for discussion and questions.

For many years I have worked as management consultant, a researcher, an accountant, coach and a teacher. I have been the source of business education and have taught others how to be successful in their businesses. Please note that business for me is not a job or work, it’s my hobby and pleasure. I love everything about it and that is probably why I have spent so much time studying it, conducting it, writing about it and speaking about it.

What I have found is many businesses know that the touchy feely stuff is important. Further they realize it is important to work on the personality and culture of their organizations. Many times because the entire organization does not see the connection between the bottom line, the touchy feely stuff and their own personal advancement, change initiatives fall by the way side. As a result change initiatives fail to take hold and are replaced by cost cutting measures and budget slashing, which often have degrading effects on moral causing decreased productivity. Resulting in the continued spiral downward. (I won’t expand this further since it is an up coming Web Log topic)

I would like this forum to aid you in seeing the value of these different aspects of business and help you incorporate some fun new ideas into your company to make you and your business more productive and thus, more successful. Having the experience and the expertise of being on both sides (the accounting/finance side of organizations and the human resources side) of the business game, I feel I can bridge this gap and offer this service to you.

For now, I wish you good fortune and look forward to seeing you on the Blog.

Tracy Slotin, Creator of the box.